Fox of the Week No 5
Gail Porter

Fans of Childrens' Telly are probably already aware of Gails' charms. She's certailny helped me through many a hangover with a smile on my face. And if you are a reader of men's magazines then it's hard to get away from her. However, it hasn't always like this. Gail's road to fame has been long and hard.

Her first TV appearance was as the Fairy Liquid girl. "Och but wayer haynds say seft Mummy the noo?" This was quickly followed up by an appearance in a bacteria costume in an advert for the short-lived "Pearly Yoghurt". The product may have died a swift death but the catchphrase "Every girl likes Pearly Yoghurt inside her" was popular in playgrounds for many months after.

In her early teens she made some largely unnoticed appearences in popular television shows. She could often be seen picking her wee nosie in the background in Magpie and her performance in the egg and spoon race in an episode of Grange Hill was a great bone of contention in her family as her Dad thought her spoon control was "Bloody Shite".

A later performance as Mary in a Blue Peter nativity play was cancelled after a 'Fart Incident.' A similar fate was to befall her portrayal of a foul-mouthed brownie in Take the High Road where the episode had to be reshot with a cardboard cut-out in her place and wee Jimmy Krankie doing a swear-free voice-over.

As acting seemed an impossible task for poor Gail she tried her little hand at Pop for a while. Over the years she clocked up appearnces in a host of crap groups such as "The Feel Of Teflon", "Gail and Others", "Rockin", "Bitchin", "Splat", and "Why The Rubber Gloves?". Her nearest attempt at Pop Glory came in the Scottish precursors to the Spice Girls called, bizzarely, "Boyzone".

Soon her luck was to change however when cynical BBC bosses realised that her nips stuck out in her tight tops when they kept the heating turned down. And the rest is history...