Normally a BobLAN write-up would consist of a list of comedy events that occurred over the weekend. Whilst this weekend was not short of comedy events (eg the frog landing on Trebz's desk, or Themy being comatose by mid-afternoon) it was the collection of quotes that will be the focus of this one.

Before that, let's look at some of the successful gaming events of the LAN. The private PUBG servers were a real hit, although we could do with some smaller maps, or to shrink the initial playzone. The BF2042 multiplayer was promising, despite some problems joining games and only having squads of four players. The other newcomer was GRID Legends, which whilst not a successor to Autosport was nevertheless quite entertaining, especially for those who don't drive every Tuesday. I think all three of these will fearure next time, especially as BF2042 will be on GamePass by then.

Now, here are those quotes:

• Bean: "No one uses the term rubber Johnnies any more"
• Mes: "Come on Al, let's go hunt some pussies and blow some heads off"
• Bynar: "The testicles have seen better days as well... a bit distended"
• Bobble: "I got a knob caught in my arse"
• Daz: "I just admit that I got Bob off there"
• Trebz: "What you did Themy was you glanced my rear"
• Trebz: "That's just hard, I prefer it softer"
• Dan: "Choppers out Bob"
• Voltz: "I wall banged Stevie"
• Voltz: "That was a reverse parzival"
• Daz: "Take 'em from the front and behind. Just how they like it"
• Dan: "It's a 14 inch meaty one"
• Q: "Bynar!! You Rammed me Into the wall"
• Bynar: "Because you took my backend out"
• Bynar to Themy: "You haven't got it out this weekend yet have you?"
• Daz: "That's the biggest joystick I've ever seen" ... "That's enormous, that's so heavy"
• Wij: "You completely scraped my insides out"
• Pup: "From both ends! Painful"
• Trebz: "Can you heal me downstairs pup?"
• Q: "Fuck me he's huge. This is gonna hurt"
• Bynar: "Now that! Was an unsafe re-entry"
• Themy: "When your arse comes out your face. That's when you know it's over"
• Trebz" "So how far would you shove the shotgun up your arse?"
• Parz: "4.6 inches"; Daz: "That's weirdly specific"; Parz: "No I meant six inches"
• Max: "It's ok, I'll pinch him round the back"
• Themy: "I'm stuck up pup"

As usual, the write-up will end with a massive thanks to Bob and Lynda, who once again opened their house to us lot. You certainly put on a great event, as evidenced by the turnout. It was great to see everyone - can't wait til April for the next one!!!

After an action-packed setup day, we're now well into Friday gaming. Despite EA issues we managed to play a game of Battlefield 1. Follow the schedule at BobLAN 2022.3

The wait is almost over, and we are now into BobLAN week. It officially starts on Thursday, however there are a few dropping kit off and staying over on Wednesday - does the beer spreadsheet allow for that?!

It is just over 2 weeks to the final BobLAN of the year, so it's time to finalise those upgrades and get your rigs in top form. Wired keyboards are recommended. As always, you will be able to follow the LAN on Discord and via the BobLAN 2022.3 page

Some good news for once - following some maintenance work by Virgin on 5th September, Bob's internet (and Daz's) seems a whole lot better. As you all know, he's been plagued by awful connections on Friday and Tuesday gaming evenings but that all seems to have been fixed (at the expense of my own!). You can check Bob's BQM Graph via the link in Discord for an up-to-date view of his connection.